Miscarriage* can be a very unhappy and frightening experience. Even some time later you may still be coping with feelings of shock and great sadness. You may also be feeling anxious about the future – especially about trying again.
This leaflet looks at feelings and some of the facts about pregnancy after miscarriage. It talks about deciding whether to try again, and about timing.
It also gives some information that may help you and your partner before and during another pregnancy.
Should we try again?
You may feel quite confident about trying for another baby. But you may be very anxious about having another miscarriage. Or you may be worried about whether you will manage to conceive. Reasons for and against
You may want to try again because:
• You simply want a baby – or another baby if you already have one. Even if you didn’t plan the last pregnancy, the miscarriage may have made you realise that’s what you want • It seems the best way to get over the ‘empty’ feeling that is common after miscarriage
• You feel confident that the next pregnancy will go well
• It’s important to your partner
• You feel it’s your last chance – if you are an older mother, for example. “
You feel so desperately empty after the loss and want to fill that void…
We generally use the word ‘miscarriage’ to cover early and late miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy and molar pregnancy.
You may want to put off trying again because: • You fear the next pregnancy will end badly too
• You don’t think you’ll be able to cope with another miscarriage
• You think you’re unlikely to conceive – because of age, or fertility problems or relationship issues • You are worried about how your anxiety will affect another pregnancy • You are worried about how a stressful pregnancy, and maybe another miscarriage, will affect your partner and family.
• Your partner’s feelings about another pregnancy
• What your family and friends have to say
• What your doctor says about the risk of another miscarriage
• Any tests and treatment you might need • Work and career pressures
• Money issues, especially if fertility treatment is involved.
You may not be ready to decide either way. But if you are not sure, it may help to read our leaflet ‘When the
Part of me desperately wants to be pregnant again, and the other part of me is just too terrified of going through the same thing again.
Other things to consider
Deciding whether to try again is not always easy. Other things that might influence you include:
There is no right answer to this.You may want to get pregnant again as soon as possible; or you may want to wait a while, particularly if the thought of another pregnancy makes you anxious. You may need time to recover physically.You and your partner may both need time to come to terms with your loss and to grieve for your baby. Women and their partners often have mixed feelings about the next pregnancy: hope mixed with fear and excitement mixed with worry.
Now or later?
You may want to get pregnant as soon as possible if:
• You think another pregnancy will help you to cope with your loss and move forward
• You want to be pregnant by the time the baby you lost would have been due
I feel like I am in limbo and I will not be able to enjoy life again until I am pregnant again.
When’s the best time?
You may want to wait if:
• You don’t feel well enough yet
• You are too upset or anxious to even think about another baby
• You are still being followed up after surgery or a molar or ectopic pregnancy • You are still waiting for medical tests or results
• You want to wait until after the baby you lost would have been due, or some other important date
• You are on a waiting list for fertility treatment • There are practical reasons, such as your partner being away from home. • You have no time to waste because of age or fertility problems
• You can’t bear not being pregnant.